My own worst enemy

The name Bernard Loiseau does not mean really anything to a lot of people. But when I was in culinary school it was a name that I grew to know. Not because I was taught about this famous chef but because I was called that name after I got angry that a dish I made was not perfect (this dish got perfect marks). I have been well known for this throughout my young career by many of my friends, family and employers.

So after I looked into this unknown chef I understood why this chef branded me Bernard Loiseau that afternoon. My so called "simple" goal for my career is to be the best. Not for ego not for money but because I feel that I have the raw skill to do so and but so does everyone else. The difference between the Grant Achatzs and Ferrain Adrias of the world is determination. Now do I contemplate suicide when Gnocchi does not work out....no. But will I dissect every dish I make..now your damn right I do. You see becoming a chef is only about your last dish. It does not matter what awards you win or articles in your name its about that last dish.

So preparing my food for the Ultimate Wedding there is only 1 dish out of 4 that made it. The other 3 I was unhappy with the end result and actually ended up in the garbage. I cooked the lamb rack on the bbq on a pan as I was waiting for my first customers at the Konzelmann Patio. This mustard seed and panko crusted lamb rack was going to taste good but I was unhappy with the sear as the bbq would not go to the heat I wanted and charred more than caramelized. So in the garbage it went (my mistake for not having tin foil to cover the bones). The figs when I cut into them were not to my standard so there went that dish. So as you can imagine perfection is a quest fit for fools. Unfortunately as Chef Bernard Loiseau, I am a fool.

So as I walk down this path to chefdom and this foolish task to be the best I realize one thing. There is no amount of compliments and accolades in this world that will make me happy unless I am satisfied with what I have done. That in itself is harder then any food critic or writer

(Read his biography by Rudolph Chelminski The Perfectionist: Life and Death of Haute Cuisine)